"If you want something more, you have to believe there is something more."

I want to start writing again. It's been a while since I've written about my life updates and lately, if I'm honest, I feel like my life is a little stale. Maybe it's because I love to be active and busy and go to new places and try new things, but lately I've begun to feel just kind of "settled."

That's not a bad thing, right? To have a steady job and an apartment and weekly church commitments, and a group of friends I see regularly, and a boyfriend I'm close to... these are all good things. But alas, I'm craving something more. Specifically, I want to do something more to have a greater impact on the world.

I know, I know. How very millennial of me.

The thing is, I've always felt called to ministry. Ever since I was like 15. Starting high school, I made a commitment to read the Bible in a year and blog about it every day. I think the posts still live on this site somewhere. (They're just... old. And probably misinformed interpretations of scripture, come to think of it!)

But you know, that year I grew in my faith SO much and I was constantly being encouraged by those that read my posts. It was like people were strengthening this calling I felt. They'd tell me I was good with words, and that they enjoyed reading my take on Scripture. My grandma read my posts every single day and commented on them. Strangers would read my posts and be encouraged. I encouraged my friends. Some of them even started their own blogs. I was so encouraged and I really wanted to go into ministry as a career.

Guess how my parents felt about that? (Not great.)

"You can live your life as a ministry to others. What are you going to do-- become a preacher? Preachers don't make a living-- you can have just as big of an impact volunteering with your church."

As I look back on these words, I tend to agree with my parents, for the most part. I have lived my life as a ministry to others. I do have an impact on women, young adults, and kids through volunteering at my church. They're not wrong.

But they kind of assumed that working in ministry-- as a vocation-- was a bad choice. I quickly started looking into other "callings" and kind of forgot about the ministry thing altogether.

Except now... I'm comfortable. The craziness of graduating from college  and finding a job and getting my own place and paying bills has faded. It's not stressing me out anymore (hallelujah). Life is good and normal and calm.

In the quietness, I've been able to focus more on my relationship with Christ. I've been making time to listen to Him and what He wants for my life, and for the first time in a LONG time, I've been reminded of the calling I felt when I was a teenager. I remember that I'm gifted in writing. And communicating. And teaching. And I have a passion for understanding Scripture more and teaching others about what it means for their lives.

I lead a group on Tuesday nights and it has been SUCH a divine joy to see people grow into new places in their relationships with Jesus. To see the "lightbulb moments" have been so, so rewarding. I want to continue to help others grow. And I think that means studying Scripture more and really focusing on listening to this calling. It may only be a whisper right now, but I'm actively seeking God and my prayer is to hear Him loud and clear.

My pastor, Brian Tome, said today that if you want something more, you have to believe there is something more.

I believe there is something more and that God is always wanting me to grow closer and closer to Him. I want something more than the way I am living now-- not out of discontentment or boredom-- but out of a desire to take bold leaps of faith and trust God in the unknown. I believe His plans for me are good and that there is something more for my life and for the world.

God,

Guide me and continue whispering your calling over my life. I want to be bold for you and I want to see Your kingdom come. Show me how I can be apart of it, God. I need You to be with me every step of the way. I will listen to what You say.

Amen




Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The World that We Live In- A Prayer