FAITH RANTS
This is the section of Devotions by Carly where I simply rant about things going on in the world and somehow relate it to God's view instead of the one forced upon us all.
I really don't like selfish people. The worst part is, if I could change one aspect of my faith and work to better myself in one area, it'd be in my selfishness. I get so self-consumed, and so incredibly obsessed about making myself look good-- doing what benefits me-- making sure people see me, love me, approve of me.........
It's exhausting.
What really kills me is how much the Bible talks about humility and submitting yourself to the work of the Spirit. And here I go, making my own selfish choices and decisions that somehow seem to only benefit me, me me.
Some days, I wake up with a "Go spread God's message, not yours!" attitude, and that quickly fades as I'm racing past others cars in a 35 speed limit zone, checking my hair in the reflection of my mini-van. I want things to go my way. I want to be liked. I want good grades. I seek after all of these needless desires and ignore the Spirit in search of approval of others.
There's two main things wrong with that last statement... one, I seek after desires that aren't benefiting the kingdom, and secondly, I search for approval that is not from the One who really counts. I try to make myself look better when we're called to be humble, and I do this for people who I really shouldn't give a crap about what they think... especially compared to what God thinks.
He loves me. The real me. The unselfish, un-self-conscious, un-self-seeking... He loves who I was created to be, which is separate from all of this obsessive care about the approval of others. He loves me for the pure and untouched Carly-- without makeup, cute clothes, and good grades.
He loves my heart-- and right now I don't know why He would because it's sure not where it's supposed to be. My heart is in the wrong place, chasing after things, people, achievements, styles... STUFF that simply doesn't matter.
God,
Thanks for loving me. Thanks for wanting to call me your child, and thanks for not disowning me even after I've sinned time and time again. Please forgive me of my transgressions and help me put a new foot forward-- one that only walks humbly in the path of Your Spirit.
I love you, Amen.
This is the section of Devotions by Carly where I simply rant about things going on in the world and somehow relate it to God's view instead of the one forced upon us all.
I really don't like selfish people. The worst part is, if I could change one aspect of my faith and work to better myself in one area, it'd be in my selfishness. I get so self-consumed, and so incredibly obsessed about making myself look good-- doing what benefits me-- making sure people see me, love me, approve of me.........
It's exhausting.
What really kills me is how much the Bible talks about humility and submitting yourself to the work of the Spirit. And here I go, making my own selfish choices and decisions that somehow seem to only benefit me, me me.
Some days, I wake up with a "Go spread God's message, not yours!" attitude, and that quickly fades as I'm racing past others cars in a 35 speed limit zone, checking my hair in the reflection of my mini-van. I want things to go my way. I want to be liked. I want good grades. I seek after all of these needless desires and ignore the Spirit in search of approval of others.
There's two main things wrong with that last statement... one, I seek after desires that aren't benefiting the kingdom, and secondly, I search for approval that is not from the One who really counts. I try to make myself look better when we're called to be humble, and I do this for people who I really shouldn't give a crap about what they think... especially compared to what God thinks.
He loves me. The real me. The unselfish, un-self-conscious, un-self-seeking... He loves who I was created to be, which is separate from all of this obsessive care about the approval of others. He loves me for the pure and untouched Carly-- without makeup, cute clothes, and good grades.
He loves my heart-- and right now I don't know why He would because it's sure not where it's supposed to be. My heart is in the wrong place, chasing after things, people, achievements, styles... STUFF that simply doesn't matter.
God,
Thanks for loving me. Thanks for wanting to call me your child, and thanks for not disowning me even after I've sinned time and time again. Please forgive me of my transgressions and help me put a new foot forward-- one that only walks humbly in the path of Your Spirit.
I love you, Amen.
Comments