The Good Kind of Love

Tonight I stayed in the dorms and watched an old Hilary Duff movie. I've seen my fair share of Disney flicks, so I was expecting it to be cheesy and thankfully I wasn't painfully distracted by the horribly auto-tuned love songs and the hilariously colorful choices of attire. 

No, I watched the movie from a less judgmental perspective. And I'm glad I did, because as bizarre as it sounds, I was actually inspired. Please allow me to explain.

Hilary's character, Terri, was undergoing this romantic love story with a shy British guy. They were both artists, they both believed in the power of their dreams, blah blah blah. But the chemistry their characters shared actually convinced me that they were in love. I know it's a movie, and so does every other teenage girl that watches movies not unlike this one. But why did I believe it? Why did I suddenly find myself rooting for them to make it, because they obviously were meant to be?

Their love was the good kind. As ridiculous as it sounds, it's true. They saw each other's flaws and still were passionate about caring for the other person. They looked past mood swings and emotional rage and pursued a deeper connection than most. The way they smiled at each other, and kissed each other... It made me want that kind of love so badly. 

I think we all have a yearning for that kind of love. Actually, I know we all have that yearning because movies like this one are notoriously successful, no matter how cheesy they seem. They're successful because of that desire that lies within every single person living on earth. The desire to be loved and cherished by someone. 

Not just anyone, though... Or else creepy stalkers would always get the girl and the geeky schoolboys with crushes on the bratty cheerleaders would dominate society. (How could they not? With her looks and his brains... It's a mega-power couple.)

Anyway, we want to be loved and we want it to be someone special. Someone that doesn't just love us with a silly crush or an obsessive infatuation, but with an accurate knowledge of who we are at our cores. 

For me, this is the main reason God is so important in my life. He knows me. 

You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. (‭Psalm‬ ‭139‬:‭1-2‬ NIV)

And the strangest thing about all of this is that when God looks at me, He doesn't see a broken doll that needs to be fixed, He sees a radiant child with a hopeful future. Isn't that what we really want out of someone? To look past our brokenness and be consumed in how much they love us that they don't care?

It's a beautiful thought. It's a hopeful thought. We want this acceptance from someone, but the only place it can really be found is in Christ. I don't care what you think about this one couple you know that's making it just fine, if they don't have God in the center of their relationship it's simply not what it could be. 

With Christ comes forgiveness. He brings acceptance and an eternal love that doesn't change or fade away. It's everlasting and it doesn't even carry the smallest ounce of fear at all. There aren't any dark corners or dark secrets because everything is shed in a blinding light that illuminates you and makes you all that you can be. 

It's beautiful. It's like the love Terri had but it's real and it's not locked in a fictional movie scene, it's breathing inside of you.

I've been hurt in the past for getting too consumed in relationships. For being too hopeful and getting ahead of myself. For moving too fast. It's because I want this love and I haven't mastered the patience it takes to find it. I'm working on the last part, slowly but surely. 

But I also find myself being affected by my past and letting it dominate how I see love today. I sometimes try to convince myself that because it didn't work out for me in the past, that I need to have this guarded view on love in the present. I need to have a more "conservative love" and stop expecting things to be like they are in movies. 

Of course, now I'm finding this way of thinking is just wrong. 

We feel things for love stories because there's an inherent desire within us to want the good stuff. We want to feel real, true, eternal love. And that is NOT a bad thing!

The bad comes when we try to shove this love into secular, lustful relationships. If they're not pure and centered on Christ, the eternal love He allows us to desire will simply not happen. We'll most likely be heartbroken and want to change this radical love to the safe, docile love I talked about earlier. 

We should set our sights on the good stuff. We should never settle for less, because if we wait for the best then we're more inclined to cultivate the standards and values that can accommodate such a strong, intense relationship the way God intended. It'll never be perfect, because at the end of the day we're both two humans who have been broken by sin. 

But if we settle for a so-so kind of love, we'll be content with just about anything and anyone. If we wait for the true, eternal love that only God can give, we are being pruned and prepared for an amazing love story written, produced, and directed by The God who created our very hearts themselves.