Not too much... just enough.

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 Well, in my "Phonics and Literacy" course yesterday, we focused completely on spelling and writing, and why kids stop loving to write... how we write, hold our pencils, etc. I saw it as a little nudge from my Father, yet again, for me to keep on writing... so here I sit. 


I've been reflecting on a few posts ago... about be being a "try-hard" and how I wish I weren't "so much" all the time. A book I was reading yesterday said that amazingly, most women feel they are both "too much" and "not enough" at the same time, which is hard to conceptualize I'm sure for men. But I'd venture to say that most women get it. Because with every "too much," there's a corresponding "not enough." It's like a double-whammy. 


I wish I weren't so talkative. I'm not quiet enough.

I wish I weren't so hyperactive. I'm not peaceful enough. 

I wish I weren't so judgmental. I'm not gracious enough. 


I'm working on recognizing these lies I tell myself, and I'm at least able to spot them now. But if I'm honest... knowing the diagnosis without  knowing the cure doesn't do much... other than leave me feeling out of options with nowhere to turn. 


The only "cure" I know is Jesus. The only remedy for my negative self-talk and the only combative weapon to the lies of this world is constantly reminding myself the Goodness found in Him. In reminding myself what He says about me, and clinging to it. In rejecting anything not of Him and leaving the past in the past. I don't need to bring up my failures from the dead to counsel them, because that doesn't make any sense. 


Today is a new day, and I can choose to fix my eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of my faith. He will give me the grace and stamina I need for today... in the exact portion I need. Not "too little" or "too much," but just enough. 

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,  fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

-Hebrews 12:1-3 NIV

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