Dancing is my CALLING

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If you know me, you know I'm not the best at pivoting from "the plan." I wanted to title this post "Go with the Flow," but it felt too weird for me to write. Unnatural. I'll get to the "dancing" bit in a minute... The phrase "go with the flow" has just been stuck on the brain and felt the need to start out that way.

As I'm learning to trust God more, the more I'm finding that His ways are not only better for me, but stronger than mine... He's going to get His way regardless. His good and perfect way.

And since I'm still stuck on this whole "calling" thing (thanks, John Mark Comer's Garden City), I've been meeting with trusted friends and mentors to speak some truth over next steps in my career. I'm excited to share that after countless coffees, phone calls, texts, and root beers, I think I've found the answer!

Are you ready? 

Are you sure?

The answer is: just go with the flow.

...

...WHAT?!

That's right-- I can pick the brains of other teachers, and principals, and social workers, and ministry directors, and they can all have a lot of great advice to share. (I've even been prayed for by a few amazing people over the past few weeks, and feel so blessed by the peace that comes from their supplication!) And yet, the only voice I really need to hear is the still, small voice of my Father, calmly guiding me like a leaf floating down a gentle stream.

He's opening doors, people. And He's closing other doors. And he's guiding and moving the stream so that I can just trust Him and obey.

I have this vision of a leaf on a stream, but I don't want it to seem like I'm just passively (lazily) waiting around for God to sort everything out for me. (Although-- Could He do that if He wanted to? Absolutely. One hundred percent. If that's in Your will... be my guest, Jesus!)

There's this delicate dance I'm trying to figure out, and it goes something like this:

1. I feel God nudging me

2. I try and "figure it out" right away, giving in to fear and my need for control

3. The doors to the paths I was pursuing are closed, because they weren't the doors for me in the first place

4. God gently nudges me again. A door opens

5. I sprint through the door, arrive safely inside of it, and then think, "Wait... what do you even want for me in here, God?"

6. I realize that when I'm always on the move, looking to the next thing or worrying about the future, I can't hear His promptings as easily. I veer off course.

7. I'm gently nudged back towards Him and I course-correct

8. (Repeat)

All of that is to say that I am noticing how much easier life can be when I'm seeking God's face all the time instead of fixing my eyes on the future. To just enjoy sweet time with Him and draw closer to Him makes all the difference. I love this analogy written by Parker Palmer: 

"The soul is like a wild animal – tough, resilient, savvy, self-sufficient, and yet exceedingly shy. If we want to see a wild animal, the last thing we should do is go crashing through the woods, shouting for the creature to come out. But if we are willing to walk quietly into the woods and sit silently for an hour or two at the base of the tree, the creature we are waiting for may well emerge, and out of the corner of an eye we will catch a glimpse of the precious wildness we seek."

So, here I go... into the wild. Dancing.



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