Devotions

I want to start writing again. It's been a while since I've written about my life updates and lately, if I'm honest, I feel like my life is a little stale. Maybe it's because I love to be active and busy and go to new places and try new things, but lately I've begun to feel just kind of "settled." That's not a bad thing, right? To have a steady job and an apartment and weekly church commitments, and a group of friends I see regularly, and a boyfriend I'm close to... these are all good things. But alas, I'm craving something more . Specifically, I want to do something more to have a greater impact on the world. I know, I know. How very millennial of me. The thing is, I've always felt called to ministry. Ever since I was like 15. Starting high school, I made a commitment to read the Bible in a year and blog about it every day. I think the posts still live on this site somewhere. (They're just... old. And probably misinformed interpr...

If I weren't frustrated by this question enough in my first post, I surely am now. I'm not frustrated that people are interested in my life, or my "plans" for a career... no. I'm frustrated because that question very rarely has to do with what I'm actually excited/passionate about doing when I graduate, and more to do with whether or not their expectations match with whatever comes out of my mouth next. For example, many will ask the "What are your plans after graduation?" question, and because nothing is certain yet, I will respond with something that has gotten me excited lately, which usually has something to do with a job of sorts. They immediately try to equate my response to something they're familiar with, like "Oh, I had a friend that worked at a bank once," or "My roommate from college studied Marketing." Then, inevitably, the question that comes next is "How much would they pay you?" I've been ...

If I can be brutally honest, I am sick of this question. Yes, partly because I don't know what I'm going to do after I graduate, but mostly because of something a friend helped me realize today. I'm frustrated with the "what are your plans?" question because I have always believed that ultimately, God's plans are the ones that matter, not mine . There is such a delicate balance between grit and grace-- between sitting on your butt, waiting for blessings to fall from the sky and actually putting in the hours to make things happen. I believe God operates in the middle of this polarized spectrum, perfectly, like only He can. But it's hard, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, sometimes even physically , to walk that line in the middle... to "be still and know He is God" but then to act upon what you hear when you've heard from Him. It's hard and it's exhausting and the "what are your plans?" question has only added to ...

I haven't been thinking that much about a New Year's Resolution, and it's January 1st. I did, however, stumble upon an interesting idea and like most things, I will contemplate its potential by ranting about it in a blog post. Here goes nothing. Even if your hands are shaking, and your faith is broken... Do it with a heart wide open. Say what you need to say. It's better to say too much that to never say what you need to say. -John Mayer I think almost every miscommunication I've ever encountered in almost all of my interactions with people can be attributed to one party (or both parties) being afraid to say what they need to say. Call it what you want, too... there are many things that you can replace " say what they need to say " with. People are afraid the truth will hurt someone's feelings . People are afraid to say something for fear that i t'll reveal something about their identity they are insecure about. Maybe it's how...

Brandon Flowers, the lead singer of The Killers, included a beautiful lyric in one of his songs, "The World that We Live In." This is the world that we live in, and I feel myself get tired. Boy, is this ever true. I just started a new job this summer, which is so exciting, but in all of that excitement I have been so busy adjusting to working life that I really haven't had time to poke my head out and look up at the world around me.  In some respects, that's a good thing. I have been able to temporarily shield myself from state of our nation and the hurtful rhetoric being used against the least of these. However, when I do have time, or if there is something that is just too big to ignore, it hits me like a train. I am suddenly, instantly aware of just how broken our world is, and how deeply we need our Lord Jesus to come. Maranatha . And, when I get overwhelmed… When my thoughts are too vast and too incomprehensible and I have a hard time sleeping at night,...

Tonight I had a great conversation with a friend who doesn't believe in God. We talked about hardships and some of the darker parts to our lives, and I proudly proceeded to tell Him that God is the only way I get out of hardships, period. And for the record, I meant it. But as I dropped him off and was driving away, I couldn't help but think about how STUPID I must have sounded to him. To someone who doesn't understand Who Jesus is or how He works in my life, I probably sounded like a mindless, thoughtless dreamer. "God gets me through hard times! He is the only Hope I have!" It probably sounded like I was just blindly repeating back the Christian rhetoric that is taught- like a one of those parrot stuffed animals with the recording box inside. "God is all you need! God fixes everything! Jesus is the answer!" And the Truth is, God is all I need. He can fix everything. Jesus IS the answer. I believe these things, not because they're lyrics fro...

Hello. It's Christmas Eve and I have a lot on my mind. Time to vent. WARNING: This isn't a fluffy Christmas post about hot chocolate and snowmen. It may challenge you to rethink your behavior and may encourage you to make some changes. It sure did for me. Recently I've just been in this weird, disillusioned stupor. Nothing really makes sense lately, which I know is a really vague statement, so I'll try to give you some specifics. 1. I turned 20 years old. And it does NOT feel like I should be in my 20's. People get married when they're 20. People have babies. They get jobs and pay bills and live in their own homes and pay mortgage and move away from their families and it's FREAKING ME OUT. 2. It's Christmas and it does NOT feel like it because of the temperature. (Climate disruption, perhaps?) It's 60 degrees and last night my grandma's power went out because of a violent rainstorm. Not snowstorm. Rainstorm. 3. It's Christmas and it...