Don't. Settle. No te conformes.
So I usually write during the low-times... the days where God is all I have, and I'm sad, and hopeless, and I need something to boost my morale. So I remind myself about God's goodness and His promise to bring better days.
But recently, I've been having some really good days! And I'm not complaining by any means, but there's just this feeling in the pit of my stomach that I get-- even on the best of days-- that makes me wonder, "Is this all there is? This is as good as it gets?"
I have no practical complaints for these types of days, no obvious disappointing moments, no visible evidence of pain or strife. But I'm still longing for something-- anything better-- at the end of the day. And I haven't been able to know why yet. Until recently, that is.
Because recently, I've been repeating this prayer over and over again... "Don't settle." And it first appeared to me in a conversation I had about boys, (go figure,) but it's really stuck with me for all parts of my life. I have these nearly perfect days where I feel on top of the world, but something is still missing. I just can't settle... I can't find complete peace.
And when I sit in my room at night, alone on a Friday, I feel strangely more fulfilled during this time than any of the fun days. And let me tell you, today has been stressful. And full of goodbyes. Uncertainties. It's the end of my first year of college and today has been this roller coaster of emotions. I've surrounded myself with people for each second of the day to distract myself, but somehow when I'm alone here with God, despite the crappy day, I feel more whole. More complete than I ever felt on the happy days.
Why is that? Probably because I settle for the joys of this world on the "good days." And days like today, I can't settle because there's nothing left-- no artificial joy to distract.
On the days where I literally couldn't ask for anything better, or anything more, I don't even stop to consider God. Because I'm so consumed in the pleasures of this life. They temporarily veil the fact that I am-- deep down inside-- nothing without my Creator.
And realizing this-- realizing that God is all I have and the only One that brings true happiness-- this realization has been much better than the days filled with manufactured happiness and falsely advertised contentment.
I don't want to settle for what the world tells me will make me happy. Being rebellious. Sleeping around. Drinking mass amounts of alcohol. Gossiping about people to make me feel more normal. Speaking badly about those who have hurt me in an attempt to justify my own shortcomings. Concerning myself with what others-- what literally everyone-- thinks about me.
These things, although temporarily fulfilling, don't produce the true joy that comes from Christ. And it's moments like now-- like the lonely Friday night Carly moments-- it's moments like this where I can take a deep breath and truly enjoy my breathing. It's me and my Creator. It's raw. It's not dependent on what others think because there aren't any others.
And even though I'm thankful for the "happy days," I never want to settle into them. I don't want to get comfortable and settle into a lifestyle that will gradually make me compromise the need I have to be in constant communication with my God.
When you settle, you conform to something that is not as good as what you could have. You accept all sorts of truths. I think that was the weird feeling I felt at the end of a good day... the knowledge that the "truths" I had accepted and the "joys" I had conformed to were not true truths and joyful joy. Not like God can provide, anyway.
If I were only patient enough to wait... if only I had enough faith to trust in His plan for me...if I could just hope for Godly things instead of the pleasures of this life... I know my inabilities are largely resulting from my human nature and I'm not going to be perfect. But I'm also not going to settle. I will trust my gut, and I know my gut tells me that even after the most perfect of days, God has more. I need to trust, and not settle until His truly perfect plans unfold.
They say to take the rough days with the knowledge that they're temporary-- and God has something better for you! But I say we ought to take the great days with the knowledge that they too are temporary, and God has something better for you!
I'm not saying we should never be content... because resting in the peace of the Lord is so important. But the "of the Lord" part is so crucial-- not that we settle our hearts-- but that we do so because of God's Spirit and not through the ways of the world.
Distinguishing between the two is hard. But I'm trying to listen to the still small voice of the Spirit that whispers, "Don't settle. I have something better than you can imagine."
Peace to you. Grace and forgiveness, as well as the chance to start again. Please don't settle, and trust in the goodness that comes from God alone.
But recently, I've been having some really good days! And I'm not complaining by any means, but there's just this feeling in the pit of my stomach that I get-- even on the best of days-- that makes me wonder, "Is this all there is? This is as good as it gets?"
I have no practical complaints for these types of days, no obvious disappointing moments, no visible evidence of pain or strife. But I'm still longing for something-- anything better-- at the end of the day. And I haven't been able to know why yet. Until recently, that is.
Because recently, I've been repeating this prayer over and over again... "Don't settle." And it first appeared to me in a conversation I had about boys, (go figure,) but it's really stuck with me for all parts of my life. I have these nearly perfect days where I feel on top of the world, but something is still missing. I just can't settle... I can't find complete peace.
And when I sit in my room at night, alone on a Friday, I feel strangely more fulfilled during this time than any of the fun days. And let me tell you, today has been stressful. And full of goodbyes. Uncertainties. It's the end of my first year of college and today has been this roller coaster of emotions. I've surrounded myself with people for each second of the day to distract myself, but somehow when I'm alone here with God, despite the crappy day, I feel more whole. More complete than I ever felt on the happy days.
Why is that? Probably because I settle for the joys of this world on the "good days." And days like today, I can't settle because there's nothing left-- no artificial joy to distract.
On the days where I literally couldn't ask for anything better, or anything more, I don't even stop to consider God. Because I'm so consumed in the pleasures of this life. They temporarily veil the fact that I am-- deep down inside-- nothing without my Creator.
And realizing this-- realizing that God is all I have and the only One that brings true happiness-- this realization has been much better than the days filled with manufactured happiness and falsely advertised contentment.
I don't want to settle for what the world tells me will make me happy. Being rebellious. Sleeping around. Drinking mass amounts of alcohol. Gossiping about people to make me feel more normal. Speaking badly about those who have hurt me in an attempt to justify my own shortcomings. Concerning myself with what others-- what literally everyone-- thinks about me.
These things, although temporarily fulfilling, don't produce the true joy that comes from Christ. And it's moments like now-- like the lonely Friday night Carly moments-- it's moments like this where I can take a deep breath and truly enjoy my breathing. It's me and my Creator. It's raw. It's not dependent on what others think because there aren't any others.
And even though I'm thankful for the "happy days," I never want to settle into them. I don't want to get comfortable and settle into a lifestyle that will gradually make me compromise the need I have to be in constant communication with my God.
When you settle, you conform to something that is not as good as what you could have. You accept all sorts of truths. I think that was the weird feeling I felt at the end of a good day... the knowledge that the "truths" I had accepted and the "joys" I had conformed to were not true truths and joyful joy. Not like God can provide, anyway.
If I were only patient enough to wait... if only I had enough faith to trust in His plan for me...if I could just hope for Godly things instead of the pleasures of this life... I know my inabilities are largely resulting from my human nature and I'm not going to be perfect. But I'm also not going to settle. I will trust my gut, and I know my gut tells me that even after the most perfect of days, God has more. I need to trust, and not settle until His truly perfect plans unfold.
They say to take the rough days with the knowledge that they're temporary-- and God has something better for you! But I say we ought to take the great days with the knowledge that they too are temporary, and God has something better for you!
I'm not saying we should never be content... because resting in the peace of the Lord is so important. But the "of the Lord" part is so crucial-- not that we settle our hearts-- but that we do so because of God's Spirit and not through the ways of the world.
Distinguishing between the two is hard. But I'm trying to listen to the still small voice of the Spirit that whispers, "Don't settle. I have something better than you can imagine."
Peace to you. Grace and forgiveness, as well as the chance to start again. Please don't settle, and trust in the goodness that comes from God alone.
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