The World is a Really Big Place
Hi Friends,
This weekend has been a really epiphany-esque weekend, and I need to blog about it to get it all out. (Translation: this is going to be a rant that probably goes nowhere.)
Going to the graduation ceremony of the grade that graduated after me was weird. For a variety of reasons, and I won't get into all of them, but let's just say I felt SO out of place. I wasn't a current student anymore, and I wasn't old enough to feel like an alumni that was coming back after a really long time... I was just kind of stuck. I saw people and faces that brought back horrible memories, and I saw other faces that affirmed me of the fact that regardless of all the mistakes I had made, people still loved me. (Or pretended to love me while they passed me in the hallway, anyway.)
The world is cool and so are animals but the only thing that counts is people. They're it. They're all that matter. How you choose to interact with someone not only defines who you are to that person, but also defines what you think about the worth of God's people as a whole.
How you love is your religion.
-Switchfoot
I tried my hardest to love people at home, and I think I did an okay job, (sure, there are a few mistakes here and there... things I wish I could take back... words I wish I hadn't of said... relationships I wish I would have handled differently,) but home gets suffocating sometimes. I feel as if I cannot change the way perceive me at this point: they either see the love of Jesus in me or they don't. It's almost as if I'm out of first impressions... I'm through with defining myself here.
And it gets pretty suffocating, like I said. Because although there are plenty of people I love and who love me, there are some things I would like to start anew with. I learned better since I made those mistakes, and I want to wipe the slate clean, and I just can't. Impressions are impressed.
I just want to start again and I can't here. It's sad but it's also normal, I think... everyone feels like that at some point, right? That's why we move? Go to college? Get a job somewhere else? We want to move on, but I can't... because I'm here, and I can't go back and do things over, but I also can't up and move to Idaho if I wanted to because I'm 19. And I have a family that I love. And you know. College.
So what do I do?
First, today God reminded me how LARGE the world is. It was so cool. I was at a grad party and I met two ladies, separately, from two totally different corners of the world. (The world doesn't have corners, also, which I just realized. That's weird.) Anyway, they reminded me that the world is HUGE and there are people in Lithuania, living and breathing and typing on THEIR computers about the complexity of life. There are Vietnamese teenagers who are struggling with college stuff... and other stuff, too. And there are people in third-world nations-- people who have hearts that beat and lungs that breathe, just like mine-- and they don't even have clean water to drink.
Looking at the world is like breathing a breath of fresh air. I no longer feel suffocated... in fact, I feel young and curious and so certain that I will get out of here and travel, and see how other people live, and it reminds me of the vastness of the Earth. My problems are so small and yet, God still cares. The people who I wish I didn't have to see... they're literally .000000001 % of the hearts beating today. And there are new babies being born every second. It's insane.
Thanks to the new perspective God blessed me with today, I can confidently breathe and say, "You know what, Carly? Yeah, you messed up, and yeah, you're already defined in Lebanon. But guess what? The world is really big. And right at this second, someone you haven't met is living their life."
There are over 7 billion people I can love. Today, the people I saw at all the graduation parties were perfectly lovable and I was so concerned with my reputation and my past that I ignored the many people God has placed in my town, in the same location I was, at the same time. They were there. And there are going to be more tomorrow. And the next day.
And the day that I do move on, when I do get to start again, there will be new people. Thousands that I'd never met before. It's crazy.
...I'm a wretched man. Hallelujah, every breath is a second chance.
-Switchfoot
People are all that matter. Loving them is the most important thing you can do, or say, or achieve. I plan on moving past my past, considering the gigantic world before me. God can and will use me, right exactly as I am, today, no matter what happened yesterday or what will occur tomorrow. It's beautiful and huge and I can't comprehend it all.
Good thing I don't have to.
#ThanksGod
This weekend has been a really epiphany-esque weekend, and I need to blog about it to get it all out. (Translation: this is going to be a rant that probably goes nowhere.)
Going to the graduation ceremony of the grade that graduated after me was weird. For a variety of reasons, and I won't get into all of them, but let's just say I felt SO out of place. I wasn't a current student anymore, and I wasn't old enough to feel like an alumni that was coming back after a really long time... I was just kind of stuck. I saw people and faces that brought back horrible memories, and I saw other faces that affirmed me of the fact that regardless of all the mistakes I had made, people still loved me. (Or pretended to love me while they passed me in the hallway, anyway.)
The world is cool and so are animals but the only thing that counts is people. They're it. They're all that matter. How you choose to interact with someone not only defines who you are to that person, but also defines what you think about the worth of God's people as a whole.
How you love is your religion.
-Switchfoot
I tried my hardest to love people at home, and I think I did an okay job, (sure, there are a few mistakes here and there... things I wish I could take back... words I wish I hadn't of said... relationships I wish I would have handled differently,) but home gets suffocating sometimes. I feel as if I cannot change the way perceive me at this point: they either see the love of Jesus in me or they don't. It's almost as if I'm out of first impressions... I'm through with defining myself here.
And it gets pretty suffocating, like I said. Because although there are plenty of people I love and who love me, there are some things I would like to start anew with. I learned better since I made those mistakes, and I want to wipe the slate clean, and I just can't. Impressions are impressed.
I just want to start again and I can't here. It's sad but it's also normal, I think... everyone feels like that at some point, right? That's why we move? Go to college? Get a job somewhere else? We want to move on, but I can't... because I'm here, and I can't go back and do things over, but I also can't up and move to Idaho if I wanted to because I'm 19. And I have a family that I love. And you know. College.
So what do I do?
First, today God reminded me how LARGE the world is. It was so cool. I was at a grad party and I met two ladies, separately, from two totally different corners of the world. (The world doesn't have corners, also, which I just realized. That's weird.) Anyway, they reminded me that the world is HUGE and there are people in Lithuania, living and breathing and typing on THEIR computers about the complexity of life. There are Vietnamese teenagers who are struggling with college stuff... and other stuff, too. And there are people in third-world nations-- people who have hearts that beat and lungs that breathe, just like mine-- and they don't even have clean water to drink.
Looking at the world is like breathing a breath of fresh air. I no longer feel suffocated... in fact, I feel young and curious and so certain that I will get out of here and travel, and see how other people live, and it reminds me of the vastness of the Earth. My problems are so small and yet, God still cares. The people who I wish I didn't have to see... they're literally .000000001 % of the hearts beating today. And there are new babies being born every second. It's insane.
Thanks to the new perspective God blessed me with today, I can confidently breathe and say, "You know what, Carly? Yeah, you messed up, and yeah, you're already defined in Lebanon. But guess what? The world is really big. And right at this second, someone you haven't met is living their life."
There are over 7 billion people I can love. Today, the people I saw at all the graduation parties were perfectly lovable and I was so concerned with my reputation and my past that I ignored the many people God has placed in my town, in the same location I was, at the same time. They were there. And there are going to be more tomorrow. And the next day.
And the day that I do move on, when I do get to start again, there will be new people. Thousands that I'd never met before. It's crazy.
...I'm a wretched man. Hallelujah, every breath is a second chance.
-Switchfoot
People are all that matter. Loving them is the most important thing you can do, or say, or achieve. I plan on moving past my past, considering the gigantic world before me. God can and will use me, right exactly as I am, today, no matter what happened yesterday or what will occur tomorrow. It's beautiful and huge and I can't comprehend it all.
Good thing I don't have to.
#ThanksGod
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