I'm so silly sometimes.
So today I've been thinking pretty deeply about things. Not sure why, and it's kind of annoying when I overthink, but that's beside the point. I've been pretty happy lately, and for some reason this last week has been pretty up and down for me (hormones, perhaps?) and I guess I just wanted to know why.
Oh, "why?" The age-old question. "Why am I unhappy? Why aren't I fulfilled? Is there something more to life? Why haven't I found it yet?"
I've been feeling a little neglected, I suppose. Coming home from college will do that for you, I guess. And I don't know if "neglected" is the right word, either. I have a lovely family who loves me very much and my mom even washed my sheets for me so I could sleep in my old bed with nice, clean sheets. I don't have any practical reason to feel like no one cares about me, but sometimes, when I'm laying awake going over the previous day in my head, I wonder, "Why don't I feel important?"
Now, before you get all worried, let me assure you that I'm not depressed or emotionally unstable or in an abusive relationship or anything. Like I said, I'm really, really blessed to live the life that I do. But haven't you ever felt like that? Like, "Why don't people care about me more? Why does it seem like no one is paying attention to me all the time?"
Then, it hit me.
Why am I expecting everyone to adore me in the first place?
If I don't expect everything to be all about me, and for people to mold to the way I'm feeling, and cater to my specific needs, then I won't get my hopes up and every ounce of attention I receive will be an unexpected, pleasant gift-- not a necessary requirement for my happiness.
It's a silly answer, and maybe a bit of a cop-out, but think about it: If you don't expect everything to be about praising you, how can you get upset when it's not what you expected?
It's kind of like (and I hate this-- so very much--) when your friend is like "DUDEEEEE OMGGGG [insert current film here] IS AWESOMEEEEE. IT'S THE BEST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEEEEN, YOU HAVEEEE TO SEE IT!"
So, you pay a ticket fee to watch it in theaters and you even buy popcorn (which is so, so overpriced, but that's another story,) and the movie was just average. And you're SO ticked because had it not been for their raving review, you maybe would have found out it was awesome for yourself. When I watch movies on Netflix now, I don't watch any trailers or reviews so I can go into watching a movie with no expectations. I digress.
I think I'm going to partially blame this one on my generation and the culture we've cultivated. Social media spawns a community that is literally founded upon posting your thoughts and waiting for other's to "like" them. By taking part in this community, we're creating a culture that makes it okay for people to send out photos of their lives and await for the approval of others... we're allowing ourselves to be caught in this cycle of selfish selfie-dom and we're setting ourselves up for an unavoidable, painful moment of realization when we notice that everyone else is too consumed in boosting their image to care about ours, and that no matter how many "favorites" you receive, everyone's true "favorite" is themselves.
*End rant*
Today, on December 20th, I choose to let Christ be my source of self-worth. I choose to find true joy when I provide for the needs of others instead of waiting for them to serve me. I choose to reimagine my place in this crazy, messed-up world so that my goal is to bring glory to my Creator rather than collect adoration for myself. (He created me in the first place, right?)
I encourage you to do the same, so we can all be sharing in an abundant, endless supply of love instead of scavenging for temporary approval. The end.
Oh, "why?" The age-old question. "Why am I unhappy? Why aren't I fulfilled? Is there something more to life? Why haven't I found it yet?"
I've been feeling a little neglected, I suppose. Coming home from college will do that for you, I guess. And I don't know if "neglected" is the right word, either. I have a lovely family who loves me very much and my mom even washed my sheets for me so I could sleep in my old bed with nice, clean sheets. I don't have any practical reason to feel like no one cares about me, but sometimes, when I'm laying awake going over the previous day in my head, I wonder, "Why don't I feel important?"
Now, before you get all worried, let me assure you that I'm not depressed or emotionally unstable or in an abusive relationship or anything. Like I said, I'm really, really blessed to live the life that I do. But haven't you ever felt like that? Like, "Why don't people care about me more? Why does it seem like no one is paying attention to me all the time?"
Then, it hit me.
Why am I expecting everyone to adore me in the first place?
If I don't expect everything to be all about me, and for people to mold to the way I'm feeling, and cater to my specific needs, then I won't get my hopes up and every ounce of attention I receive will be an unexpected, pleasant gift-- not a necessary requirement for my happiness.
It's a silly answer, and maybe a bit of a cop-out, but think about it: If you don't expect everything to be about praising you, how can you get upset when it's not what you expected?
It's kind of like (and I hate this-- so very much--) when your friend is like "DUDEEEEE OMGGGG [insert current film here] IS AWESOMEEEEE. IT'S THE BEST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEEEEN, YOU HAVEEEE TO SEE IT!"
So, you pay a ticket fee to watch it in theaters and you even buy popcorn (which is so, so overpriced, but that's another story,) and the movie was just average. And you're SO ticked because had it not been for their raving review, you maybe would have found out it was awesome for yourself. When I watch movies on Netflix now, I don't watch any trailers or reviews so I can go into watching a movie with no expectations. I digress.
I think I'm going to partially blame this one on my generation and the culture we've cultivated. Social media spawns a community that is literally founded upon posting your thoughts and waiting for other's to "like" them. By taking part in this community, we're creating a culture that makes it okay for people to send out photos of their lives and await for the approval of others... we're allowing ourselves to be caught in this cycle of selfish selfie-dom and we're setting ourselves up for an unavoidable, painful moment of realization when we notice that everyone else is too consumed in boosting their image to care about ours, and that no matter how many "favorites" you receive, everyone's true "favorite" is themselves.
*End rant*
Today, on December 20th, I choose to let Christ be my source of self-worth. I choose to find true joy when I provide for the needs of others instead of waiting for them to serve me. I choose to reimagine my place in this crazy, messed-up world so that my goal is to bring glory to my Creator rather than collect adoration for myself. (He created me in the first place, right?)
I encourage you to do the same, so we can all be sharing in an abundant, endless supply of love instead of scavenging for temporary approval. The end.
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