Houses and Visions and Tensions (oh my!)
Unless the Lord builds the house,
those who build it labor in vain.
This verse (Psalm 127:1) has been haunting me (in a good way!) over the past week or so. I'm such a planner that there have been countless times, even in the past few days, where I am in the middle of plotting something or worrying about something in the future and the Holy Spirit has gently reminded me...
Unless the Lord builds the house,
those who build it labor in vain.
It convicts me. It stops me in my tracks. It gets to me every. single. time.
Because truth be told, I am trying so hard all the time to make sure things go "according to plan." I crave the satisfaction that comes from envisioning things going a certain way, and then watching them fold in exactly that fashion. And I'll do whatever it takes to weasel my way into the unfolding of it all, ensuring that I get my way. I course-correct and manipulate the situations that seem like they'll yield any other result than the one I had planned for.
And then, mid-manipulation, I am reminded:
Unless the Lord builds the house,
those who build it labor in vain.
Yesterday I heard a sermon by my church's head pastor, Brian Tome. It was entitled, "The Five Marks of a Man." He has a book. You can buy it here for thirteen bucks. The very first "mark" of men that he described was this:
Men have _______, while boys live in the day-to-day.
Any guesses on what fills the blank?
My mind immediately went to "a plan." Men have a plan. And if you aren't a big details person, then... yeah. That's pretty much the main point here. But if you do happen to care about details like me, then you'd note that the actual verbiage Brian uses is "a vision." Men have a vision.
What's the difference? I'm so glad you asked!
Plans are for God, not us. God very rarely tell us His plan. I'm not denying the existence of plan and divine sovereignty over all things, either. Heck- I'm not even saying plans are inherently evil or sinful.
But when planning becomes rooted in your identity like it has mine, there comes a time where you need to step back and lay your plans down at the feet of Jesus.
The book of Proverbs is filled the brim with so much wisdom- it's quite frankly all ABOUT wisdom and packed with wise words and counsel, through and through. And do you know what this super wise book has to say about our plans?
In their hearts humans plan their course,
but the Lord establishes their steps.
Many are the plans in a person’s heart,
but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.
Commit to the Lord whatever you do,
and he will establish your plans.
This can become comforting, to an extent... it tells us that no matter what, God's plans are sovereign and He's the one in charge.
But (and there's always a "but" in the grey world we're living in), it's also kind of frustrating. Because okay, I get that God's plans are the ones that prevail. It's not my job to plan. Cool. Got it. Understood.
So what do I do now?
How am I supposed to live my life? What does it mean to have a vision instead of a plan?
These are all questions that are swirling around in my head, and I'm not going to be able to tie anything up in a nice and tidy bow right now. But I think that's kind of the point, right?
I refuse to believe that God is sitting up in heaven with the blueprint of my life, looking down at me watching me try to stumble through a very particular and daunting maze, judging my every move. He's not watching me try and solve this complex math problem and criticizing me when I forget to carry my 1's or put my decimal points in the right place. I don't think God is concerned with me understanding the plan at all. He doesn't want a more proactive version of me, or a more organized me, or a more prepared me...
He just wants me.
And He wants me to come to Him, and walk with Him, and fix my eyes on Him, and follow Him wherever He leads. The type of vision I have for my life is actually clearly defined in Scripture, because God actually tells me,
"I know the plans I have for you... plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."
-Jeremiah 29:11
If I believe those words to be true, then I don't need to know the details. I actually don't want to, because I don't trust myself to live according to God's plan if I know about it ahead of time. I know my fickle heart too well. If there's something I don't like or didn't envision myself, I will do whatever it takes to change it.
God's been surrounding me with more wisdom in music playing around me and here are some gems that are helping me make sense of how to trust more:
Like Moses in the desert
I wanna see the land
But like Moses in the desert
I can’t fully see Your plan...
I don’t wanna go if You’re not going before me.
All I did was praise
All I did was worship
All I did was bow down
All I did was stay still
Hallelujah, You have saved me
So much better Your way
Hallelujah, great Defender
So much better Your way
There's a tension we're living in between being super planners and living without vision for our lives. It's difficult to navigate. It's impossible to do it on our own. I am making the decision to live in the tension, trusting God to lead me.
Because unless the LORD builds the house...
Well, you get it.
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